The Late Night Wars II

Jay Leno is going back to The Tonight Show. Sorry Jay, but you're in a gotsta go situation. I stick up for comedians every chance I get, but not if they're being a jerk. I know you loved having The Tonight Show, but you can't take it back and still be loved.
I wanted The Jay Leno Show to work, not because I like the show, but because it was just another platform for comedians to gain exposure. Parts were good, others were beyond terrible (I'm talking to you 10 at 10).
I don't think Jay should retire, but move on. You should create something fresh and new for yourself at another network (It's not going to happen, but it should).

And for you Conan, you will be missed... until September. Well all you can do now is move on and make a superior product to what NBC will be throwing out there. Don't mess this up, because right now you have public support on your side. Letterman made the mistake of being soft when he first went to CBS. Keep your edge.

The big winner right now is David Letterman. He's snappy, fresh, relevant, and biting. Right now The Late Show is at it's peak, and Letterman is at his best--AT 62 YEARS OLD! He may not be a good man, but he's a GREAT host. If he had been this sharp the whole time, he would have never lost the ratings war to Leno. He not trying to please others, and in turn he's killing.

The future winner is Jimmy Fallon. He's going to end up with The Tonight Show after Leno has an on-air death due to heart failure in 5 years. Now I just need to get good enough that I can take over Late Night!

Jokes (as protest, I won't be using the term "Headlines" anymore):

A father just named his son "J.E.T.S." he tried to explain, but all the doctor could hear was “I’m a nut bag.”

Conan O'Brien left The Tonight Show saying, "I believe in opportunities. Now Jay has the opportunity to fulfill his dream of screwing it up for a second time."

David Letterman's take on the Late Night Wars II: "Finally a scandal that doesn't include me or my sex life!"

Jay Leno has decided to return to The Tonight Show for one very important reason: money to buy more cars.

Video:



Who is your favorite talk-show host?

Who's Right: Letterman or Palin?

If you don't know what's going on in the late night comedy/political crossover battle, here's a quick recap.

Abbi posted a comment yesterday: "Letterman was right the first time when he apologized with humor. Unfunny apologies are for funerals."

My spin? He's a comedian. He made a joke. Let's all get over it.

Here's a few replacement monologue jokes about the governor's family trip to Yankee Stadium:

One awkward moment for Sarah Palin, in the seventh inning her daughter was shot up with steroids by Alex Rodriguez.

OR

One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, after being given an Alex Rodriguez her daughter had a choking fit because she mistakenly thought it was October.

OR

One awkward moment for Sarah Palin, because her daughter is such a huge A-Rod fan, Willow left her wife and kids for Madonna.

How about this, how about we treat women with more respect in general?

That being said, other things I noticed from the Late Show's first guest (who happened to be a woman) last night:

Michelle Pfeiffer looks amazing for 90 years old! What's that, she's 50? Oh, yeah still pretty good.

I'm having trouble falling asleep, Michelle would you mind telling us another story?

Michelle says, "I'm not joking." I say, "I don't think you're capable of joking, that implies entertainment."

Here's a great example of a story that had potential to be really interesting, yet somehow is made painfully mundane.

"She's going to tell a Scarface story about fighting for the part, getting fired, getting rehired, then slicing Al Pacino up with glass and spraying blood everywhere?! SNOOZE-FEST!"

Tomorrow: Is there a difference between the likes of Olberman or Limbaugh versus Bill Maher or Dennis Miller? Leave a comment now, and I'll address it in tomorrow's post.