Harold Camping: Ruptured

This past weekend the Rapture was supposed to have come. Instead, it was just another Saturday. No rapture... except for Macho Man Randy Savage. That's how awesome he was; Macho was the only person God decided to suck up to Heaven.

Right before doomsday I read this, "No one knows about that day or hour..." -Jesus. So in other words there was a slight chance the rapture might not happen May 21st at 6pm.
What's the point of being Christian if you're just going to make up stuff and ignore what Jesus said? Oh, I know! MONEY! Yeah, the guy that has predicted the end of the world several times, to no avail, is making money off of his predictions!

I wish I could feel sorry for the people that bought into his false message, but come on guys pay better attention to who you're following.
So Ol' Harold has now predicted that the world will end on October 21st. I guess that means that we get to post all of our missed apocalypse jokes on the 22nd.
Just a tip, this time around don't sell everything you own and give it to Ol' Harold. If it is the Rapture, he won't need it either.

Americans' Idol

First off, having "King" in your name or title is not a good thing. The King dead at 42. The King of Pop dead at 50. Original King of Comedy Bernie Mac dead at 50. Martin Luther King, Jr. dead at 39. King of the Jews dead at 33. King of Queens dead at 9 seasons. King of Kong's social life stillborn. Lesson to be learned? No.

So, who is the next world superstar icon?

Abbi writes, "Beyonce in 30 years. That is, if marriage and fancy restaurants don't make her tubby. In that case she's the next Aretha Franklin."

Sorry, Beyonce doesn't cut the mustard. "Why?" you ask. Because she got caught on camera falling down the stairs followed by some embarrassing headbanging. Icon? Not in the YouTube generation Sister.

My pick? Since Madonna, Obama, and Oprah are already icons they don't count. I say the next world icon is... Dane Cook. Don't think he's stopped at his domination of the comedy world. He's gunning for it all. Plus he's the King of Myspace.

Headlines comin' at ya:

A tape of LeBron James being dunked on by a college player has been confiscated by Nike. "Just do it... and we'll make sure nobody ever knows that you did."

Bill O'Reilly has issued a statement saying, "Michael Jackson is no black icon." Because when you think expert on black culture, you think Bill O'Reilly.

O'Reilly says MJ is no black icon. He followed that gem with, "Mexicans love Rush Limbaugh."

Mariah Carey apologized for her performance in Jackson's memorial service. Now if we can get her to apologize for "Glitter."

Let's see this one again:

Tomorrow: What is the greatest TV show ever? Make your suggestions in today's comments and I'll address them tomorrow.