It's 3rd grade and I desperately want to be cool and fit in. I'm a chubby kid ("husky" as they say in 1989). Spencer is the star of the class. He's one of those kids that hit puberty way too early. A foot taller than everyone; starts shaving at 10. He looked like Magnum P.I. in third grade!
Spencer frequently brings in music that no of us are supposed to listen to. 2 Live Crew is his choice of the day. He's passing around the tape and mentions how he wishes he had the Batman Soundtrack. All the other guys agree in unison! And then I say it, "I have the Batman tape." What did I just say? I see respect in everyone's eyes for the first time as they turn to me with envy. And then the fateful phrase uttered from Spencer's caveman lips, "Bring it in." "Oh sure, sure. Maybe next week," I say. "Tomorrow."
What else am I supposed to do--I bring it in the next day.
Now I wasn't a stupid kid, just a bit naive. To me, a Batman tape with a cool Batman song and an actor voicing the words to an attached comic book was the coolest thing. To a kid that was throwing around 2 Live Crew and Guns N' Roses, that was lamer than bringing in a signed autograph from Mr. Belvedere.
The disappointment on their faces was evident. The worst part though was how Spencer just dismissed me from then on. I'd never be cool in his eyes.
Flash forward 20 years--he's in jail now, and I just bought the Batman Soundtrack a week ago. Suck it Spencer--I am cool!
Couple Headlines:
Rick Pitino rebuked the media for being "irresponsible." Yeah, the media's not responsible like you were when you cheated on your wife and paid for the woman's abortion.
Rick Pitino slammed the media. Guess he forgot that HE'S the sleazeball.
Madonna was booed on her tour for speaking out against Gypsy discrimination. At least it wasn't for her music this time.
Madonna's new cause is Gypsy discrimination? Are gypsies even real? I thought they were only in Grimm's fairy tales.
Thank goodness Madonna speaking out for a noble cause like Gypsy hatred. Think she'll adopt one now?
If I owned this in 1989 I'd have been cool?:
Next time: The wedgie story or the office fart. Which story would you like to hear? Leave your pick in the comments!
This is the only image on the internet of a man wearing these. On second look, I'm not even sure that it's a man. Those don't look good on anybody. On a little fat boy it's just disturbing. He's standing near classic muscle cars while wearing a helmet to show you how rad he/she/shim is!
