Filmy

There are always creative, hard working artists that find a way to express themselves via film. On the flip side, there are always Michael Bays.

My favorite movie is Rocky. I don't care what other people think of the film (good or bad), it's mine and hits me every time I watch it (The sequels are just plain fun!).

Now one thing that may have changed, is the American public has given up. Transformers 2 is on its way to being one of the biggest movies ever, yet universally panned! Just slapping an expensive piece of garbage up on a screen didn't work 15 years ago-- think Waterworld. We at least had a little discernment.

So get ready, cause here comes G.I.Joe.

Headlines below:

Sarah Palin resigns as Alaska's Governor. After returning home from her recent trip to New York she was heard saying, "Wait, why do I live in Alaska?"

Sarah Palin's resignation caused many to cheer. Don't get too excited, cause now she's coming down here with the rest of us!

Sarah resigned because she heard there was a void to fill on TLC now that Jon and Kate are on hiatus.

Brett Michaels' tour bus was involved in an accident this weekend. The bus was finishing, "Nothin' but a Good Time," when it was hit by a piece of the Tony's stage.

Brett Michaels' tour bus was in an 5 car pile up. The police report said, "It missed its mark."

Roger Federer won his 15th Grand Slam title this weekend at Wimbledon. When told this, the American public responded with, "Who?"

G.H. hipped me to this video in the comments in Friday's post. I loved it!

Tomorrow: Rep. Peter King rips Michael Jackson. Fair or Foul? Leave a comment in today's post and I'll address it tomorrow!

Fat is here to stay!

I can't believe it. Today a new study came out saying obesity rates have RISEN in half of the states, and have fallen in NONE in the past year. This is after all the talk about eating healthy, putting calorie counts on menus, and getting rid of things like hydrogenated oils.

Guess what, in 20 years, this country is going to be big. REALLY BIG.

On the plus side, if you're overweight now just wait and stay the same, you can be the skinny person in the future!

Headlines:

Ron Artest has signed with the Lakers this week. Ron Artest plus Los Angeles: recipe for success. Did I say success? I meant a horrible failure plus several felonies.

This week a teacher accidentally sent out a DVD of her having sex to her elementary students. She received a stern rebuke from the school but huge support from the children's fathers.

America has gotten more obese in the last year. In response, TV networks have dedicated all the fall lineup to weight-loss reality shows or competitive eating programs.

Here's our future:

Monday: What's your favorite movie? Are movies still good, or are they getting worse (Transformers). Leave your thoughts in the comments and I'll talk about it Monday.

Health Care for all?

I decided to take a look at this whole health care reform thing for myself. So, what's my thoughts and conclusions? At this rate, I don't think we're getting much at all now or anytime soon. There's sooo much money and power behind the current system, and we all know how hard it is keeping the rich from getting richer.

So here's the plan: We will TMZ them! Track down everybody with power and control in the health insurance game--those making millions off the backs of the middle class. Take pictures, write articles, print rags showing how they hang out with bat boy and own the elephant man's bones. We'll print a list of them, and every time you see them in public rush over like it's 1965 and they're the Beatles. Trust me, 6 weeks of living like Elvis did and this insurance folks will BEG us for universal health care. If that doesn't work, throw all their tea in Boston Harbor!

Now your thoughts:

Crutch writes, "as far as health care goes...get rid of middle-men insurance companies...it's bc of them that prices continue to sky-rocket. they are only interested in profits."

OK, OK. I'll admit this is sounds much more reasonable than my plan. But I think you'll have to admit mine is much more fun. Make those turds suffer the way they've made decent Americans suffer!

Headlines:

McDonald's has come out with the new Angus burger. Finally, what we've been waiting for: A $4 burger and $20 diarrhea .

McDonald's released the new Premium $4 Angus burger. Yeah, nothing says "Premium" like "McDonald's" and "4 dollars." Coming soon: White Castle's opulent $1.50 shake.

$4 may seem like a lot for a McDonald's hamburger but don't forget, you're not paying for the food, you're really paying for the atmosphere.

And in honor of Michael, his favorite commercial ever:

Tomorrow: Obesity. Is fat a problem in the US or not? Leave your comment and I'll talk about it on Friday.

What Happened to the 80's?

My previous two posts got me thinking about the 1980's. It was a really awesome, fun, over-the-top decade, but what happened to it? A disproportionate number of stars from the day are gone, recluses, tragedy stricken, or straight-up crazy!

Let's just take a look at some of the 80's icons (seriously, I don't even have to write punchlines for these people; their names say it all):

Madonna

Mike Tyson

Tom Cruise

Michael J. Fox

Sylvester Stallone

Eddie Murphy

Cher

Farrah Fawcett

Van Halen (EVERYBODY in the band)

and the biggest star of them all Michael Jackson.

That's not even counting big, but not quite life-altering stars:

Patrick Swayze

Hulk Hogan

Mr. T

Kirk Cameron

David Hasselhoff

Nell Carter

Entire cast of Diff'rent Strokes

Isiah Thomas

Christopher Reeves

Bo Jackson

Sam Kinison

Andrew "Dice" Clay

Dudley Moore

Paul Ruebens a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman

Whitney Houston

Mel Gibson

It's clear Magic Johnson made a deal with the devil. If he allowed Earvin to continue living and become a business king, he would strike down all other stars from the 80's.

Is there one person who thought Prince would be the most normal guy from the 80's in the year 2009?

Headlines are here:

Kevin Jonas is engaged. First MJ, now this! I can only take so much heartbreak.

Kevin Jonas is getting married. Luckily it makes good business sense--his fiancee is Minny Mouse.

Don't worry, even though Kevin Jonas is getting married, he'll still make crappy music and star as a 14 year old in Disney Channel original movies.

GM told it's investors today to not buy their stock. Yeah, I think they probably got that message about 6 months ago.

GM says to not buy it's stock. Hey GM, if you're just realizing this NOW, it's no wonder you are bankrupt.

GM says "Don't buy our stock... Instead please, PLEASE buy our cars!"

And now a little video that I can't get out of my head:

Tomorrow: Health Care: What should we do? Leave a comment today, and I'll talk about it tomorrow.