I love Thin Pig

I recently purchased Todd Glass' new album, "Thin Pig." I know a comedian strikes me when I laugh out loud uncontrollably and multiple times while riding on the subway. I even irritated my wife while listening to it on my iPod. I kept laughing while she was trying to do some work. That's like being in summer school and hearing the kids playing on the playground outside your classroom window.

Abbi said, "I like listening to comedy cds, but I find that a lot of contemporary comedians are visual, and it would be better to see them than hear the audience laugh at a face they're making. Mitch Hedberg made good listening albums."
Look at it this way, it's better to hear an ugly comedian than have to see them. Some comedians are more fun to watch than listen to, but sooo many make great albums. We're really in a bit of a Renaissance when it comes to comedy albums. The 80s and 90s had nowhere near the amount of albums the 60s, 70s, and today have.

Headlines are here to stay:

Eli Manning signed a new contract making him the highest paid player in the NFL. Unfortunetly all that money can't make his face look like a broke hill-billy.

Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol. In order to replace all of her wit, charm, and natural charisma the producers have decided to replace her with a block of cheddar cheese.

Jon and Kate returns, this time split up! Wow, seeing two overweight small town rubes return to the dating scene, sounds like they'll be filming exclusively at the Berks County Dairy Queen.

Anybody notice how "Jon and Kate" has dropped the "plus Eight" in all the promotional talk? Just like a real life divorce, the kids become irrelevant and the balding dad buys a motorcycle.

Here's a little taste of Todd Glass:



Next time: Batman was king when I was in 3rd grade! And I always wanted that soundtrack! Tomorrow we'll talk about this.

Return of the Vick

He's out of the klink. The debate is on--should he be allowed back in the NFL.
YES!!! Of course he should! He spent 2 years in prison, he paid his price. People want him punished? Yeah,that's what that prison term was. Suspend him from football? That's like grounding a kid after you gave him the spanking of his life... I think he got the message already. By the way, Donte Stallworth killed a HUMAN BEING and got 30 days in jail. Yeah, I said 30 DAYS! That tells you American hierarchy. Pit bull killing is worth 24X larger sentence than killing a Mexican immigrant. Maybe PETA should lay off protesting chicken wings for a weekend and picket a little bit of that inhumanity.

Headlines below:

Amy Winehouse has been accused of assault. Many experts doubt this, considering if Amy punched someone her crack-riddled hand would break.

Brad Pitt doesn't believe in God. Really Brad? You're rich, famous, good looking, having babies with Angilia Jolie and you DON'T believe in God? What hope do the rest of us have then?

Brad Pitt doesn't believe in God, but his agent does.

Ouch, how much money did he leave on the table?:



Tomorrow: I'm always excited to listen to new comedy CD's. Anybody else? I'm talking about Todd Glass tomorrow.

Childhood Dreams Come True...

I bid on LA Gear Michael Jackson.

I didn't win. But that's the great thing about being an adult, you can afford to make a couple childhood dreams come true. Usually what kids want, are pretty cheap. It's not Ferrieres and Prada bags that kids want. They want a pair of Jordan's or Star Wars villiage (at least I did).

That actually reminds me, when I was 5 years old, my mom melted my He-Man action figures in the dishwasher (they were dirty, that's why they were in there!). I was crushed. Ever since then, I've wanted to replace the collection. Anybody know where I can get a Moss-Man and Skinkor?

Abbi wrote, "I get nostalgic about the toys I used to play with and the food I used to eat as a kid."
Ahh, I still eat the food from when I was a kid: Fruity Pebbles, Pop-Tarts, Kentucky Fried Chicken... let's be honest, my mom didn't cook much.
As for the toys, buy yourself that Easy Bake Oven already! Why not? I'm getting those Rambo guns when I find them.

Droppin headlines:

Paula Abdul not coming back to American Idol. On the bright side, she was so doped up she didn't even know she was there in the first place.

What will American Idol do without Paula? Probably keep on producing a show that we can all look back on in 30 years and say, "What drugs were we on that made us think this was a good idea?"

And for old time's sake:




Tomorrow: Michael Vick is a free man. Should he return to the NFL? Leave your comments in today's post and I'll talk about it tomorrow.

No Country (Club) for Black Men

So a Philly country club decides it's okay to ban a group of black children in the year 2009? Does it surprise anyone? Probably, but more importantly is it racist? Yeah, of course it is.
For better or worse, it's America and people have the freedom to make their private club private, segregate, and ignorant. But the rest of us also have the right to call them out on it, and protest them.
These kids PAID to use the club. Honor your contract with them. Of course, honor had very little to do with your decision.
Abbi wrote, "We have already talked about it at great length, but I think the real tragedy is none of the kids had time to pee in the pool." Don't worry, old rich white folks are almost universally incontinent. That pool is already a bio-hazard.

Now on to headlines:
A couple with the same name that found each other on facebook are getting married. That's not news, it happens all the time--it's called Kentucky matrimony.

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in her hotel room. John Madden is jealous over all her exposure.

Tyler Perry has decided to take the shunned kids from the Philly pool to Disney World. They all were excited until they heard that they'd have to watch "Madea goes to Jail" on the trip there.

When told Tyler Perry was taking them to Disney World and providing entertainment on the way there, the kids said, "Thanks, but no thanks. We'd rather go swim with the racists than watch 'House of Pain.'"

This used to be considered cool:



Tomorrow: Are you a nostalgic person? About what? Leave and I'll talk about it tomorrow.