Some serious 'roids

McNamee claims in 1998, Roger Clemens developed an abscess on his… ummm... “behind” from alleged steroid use. Nobody else in the Toronto Blue Jays remembers this. Umm, maybe because no one else enjoyed Roger’s glutes quite as much as McNamee. He was so star struck with Roger, he had his photo taken with Clemens’ dark mole and a baseball card signed by a benign growth.

O Brother, where art thou?

Eli Manning is in the NFC Championship game for the first time in his career. It’s about time he lived up to his brother’s standard; he can choke in a game that means something and rip the hearts out of all his fans. (I'm just joshin' Peyton, you know I have a man crush on you).
And by the way, Eli needs to win. Let’s be honest, he’s not articulate like Tiki, so he can’t walk away from football for an analyst job. He can’t do funny commercials like his brother. The only thing he has a chance of doing is making a living at football. Unless of course there is a movie casting for a slack jawed yokel.

Let's make the Jets watchable again

Arkansas running back Darren McFadden has entered the NFL draft. Will he go number one? Nope. The can’t miss, bend you over his knee spank you, Jupiter high talent often gets passed up because he always seems to good to be true. “Should we draft Julius Peppers or Clinton Portis? Nah, David Carr has a mullet; let’s take him.”

So who drafts him? McFadden is a player the J-E-T-S should G-E-T, GET GET GET! Yeah, they have a fine running back in Thomas Jones. Add McFadden, and they’re next year’s Vikings. Think about what Minnesota did with a cod fish quarterbacking. The Vikes aren’t upset they have two fine running backs. It’s a win-win situation. Sure he has to leave his home state of Arkansas for the big city, but in exchange he gets indoor plumbing and the advent of electricity.

Corporal Punishment

Joakim Noah was spanked this week. He was benched an extra game by his teammates for yelling at a coach. They thought the 10 minutes of playing time he lost by missing the first game wasn’t enough punishment. Even though it hurts not having his 4 points per game in the lineup, he had to be taught a lesson. That’s what great players do, take their punishment like a man and come back better than ever. When he comes back, Noah may even break double digits in… well anything.