Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ohhh, that's what happened to you...

Seriously, this is the mascot for Saint Mary's:

Isn't that the guy from White Lion? So that's what happens when Hair Bands die, the members become college mascots or Reality TV "stars."

Was this EVER cool?:

PS. for a really poignant moment of the day, stare at that mascot pic while the music video plays.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


We adopted a English Bulldog on Sunday.

I now realize we have welcomed a homeless man into our house.


1) He smells terrible. No, not a typical "oh I just got a whiff of something pee-pee like" bum... we're talking clear the subway car, I'm going to throw up, seriously my nostrils are burning boxcar hobo. You know the kind: a crowded train comes by and then a glimmer of hope, a car with almost nobody in it and tons of seats. You step on, and a sledgehammer of stink slams you in your olfactory nerve.

2) Just hanging out on a Park Bench

3) He just hangs out and sleeps all day. He's got no job, he pees on the sidewalk, and I'm pretty sure he'd eat garbage if I let him.

4) Sleeping on a cardboard box (so cliche)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Seriously, they're back... check out these puppies! That's right boys and girls, Zubaz are back with a vengeance.

When I was in 6th grade, these were THE coolest pants to have. I can't stress to you enough how awesome I thought these pants would make me. You needed two things to be cool at age 12 in 1992, a pair of Jordans and a pair of Zubaz. Luckily for me, my parents felt it would be more appropriate to get me shoes at payless and buy me purple biker shorts.
This is the only image on the internet of a man wearing these. On second look, I'm not even sure that it's a man. Those don't look good on anybody. On a little fat boy it's just disturbing. He's standing near classic muscle cars while wearing a helmet to show you how rad he/she/shim is!

So now's my second chance. I can get those Jordans and Zubaz I always wanted and FINALLY be cool! If I do it will you be my Facebook friend?

After you watch this video, you'll know what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Monday, February 08, 2010

Yes, I'm a Colts fan!

I'm a Colts fan because I'm from Indianapolis. I moved there the same year the Colts did--1984. I was 4 years old. I lived the next 21 years in Indiana. I cheered for that team threw the thin years (you know basically all of them up until Peyton Manning was drafted in 1998). The Colts were truly terrible. Here's a list of my favorite players through the years:

1988-1989 Eric Dickerson (by default-I was pretty young, so he's the only player's name I knew)

1990-1992 Jeff George (he was from Indianapolis, and went to Warren Central H.S.--the same high school I would graduate from years later)

1992-1993 Steve Emtman (he was really good for that year and a half)

1994-1998 Marshall Faulk (quite possibly one of the best players in the history of the NFL--too bad he got traded after only 5 seasons. Yep, he won a Super Bowl and league MVP... IN ST. LOUIS!)

1998-present Peyton Manning (I don't even need to explain)

Last night was a hard pill to swallow. I wish there was a penalty or missed call or bad play or something, ANYTHING to blame. There isn't. Just got beat. It's like knowing the jock got the pretty girl just because he was better.

By the way, The Saints didn't deserve to win because of Katrina. I'm pretty sure 99% of New Orleans residents would pick losing the Super Bowl is it meant NOT living through that. The Patriots didn't win in 2002 because they have a "Super-American name".

I've been a fan through all those years, and I'll continue to be until my dying breath!
Memory Lane:

Yep, that was the #1 pick in 1992. Too bad the only highlight reel he had was in COLLEGE!

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Late Night Wars II

Jay Leno is going back to The Tonight Show. Sorry Jay, but you're in a gotsta go situation. I stick up for comedians every chance I get, but not if they're being a jerk. I know you loved having The Tonight Show, but you can't take it back and still be loved.
I wanted The Jay Leno Show to work, not because I like the show, but because it was just another platform for comedians to gain exposure. Parts were good, others were beyond terrible (I'm talking to you 10 at 10).
I don't think Jay should retire, but move on. You should create something fresh and new for yourself at another network (It's not going to happen, but it should).

And for you Conan, you will be missed... until September. Well all you can do now is move on and make a superior product to what NBC will be throwing out there. Don't mess this up, because right now you have public support on your side. Letterman made the mistake of being soft when he first went to CBS. Keep your edge.

The big winner right now is David Letterman. He's snappy, fresh, relevant, and biting. Right now The Late Show is at it's peak, and Letterman is at his best--AT 62 YEARS OLD! He may not be a good man, but he's a GREAT host. If he had been this sharp the whole time, he would have never lost the ratings war to Leno. He not trying to please others, and in turn he's killing.

The future winner is Jimmy Fallon. He's going to end up with The Tonight Show after Leno has an on-air death due to heart failure in 5 years. Now I just need to get good enough that I can take over Late Night!

Jokes (as protest, I won't be using the term "Headlines" anymore):

A father just named his son "J.E.T.S." he tried to explain, but all the doctor could hear was “I’m a nut bag.”

Conan O'Brien left The Tonight Show saying, "I believe in opportunities. Now Jay has the opportunity to fulfill his dream of screwing it up for a second time."

David Letterman's take on the Late Night Wars II: "Finally a scandal that doesn't include me or my sex life!"

Jay Leno has decided to return to The Tonight Show for one very important reason: money to buy more cars.


Who is your favorite talk-show host?