Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Richie Rich is a punk.

Rich people make me sick. The wealthy think they're better than everybody else and it's about time we called them out on it. They lie to us and steal from the poor and then have the audacity to treat us like they DESERVE everything they get. It's their birthright to live in opulence. And we let them!
Just look how we portray them in entertainment. Rappers throw around money like it's those black and orange candy on Halloween--they can't get rid of it fast enough. Richie Rich spent more money on himself and adventures than the American Cross has made in 50 years. He even had his dumb dog flying a plane!
You realize how much money Ricky Stratton wasted on trains through the house? And do you know how they addressed poverty in Silver Spoons? They dedicated an episode to Ricky finding a homeless family living in a cave on their property. A CAVE!
And did you ever notice every rich kid has to have the name Richard.
Abbi wrote, "Rich people suck so much because they have no real mirrors in their home. Just people that tell them how great they are, and so they never strive to improve themselves."
What we need is to hire Brock Lesnar on behalf the underprivileged to beat the upper crust in the face til they tap out and say, "You know what, maybe I'm just a lucky SOB and other people deserve my respect and help."


A man was sentenced to a year of probation for leaking Guns and Roses new album before it's release date. And for releasing the album on it's release date, Axel Rose was given life in prison.

The world's oldest mom died today at 69, leaving behind Twins. She was a spry 66 years old when she had them, however doctors believe breaking that hip during labor clearly shorted her life.

Ex-GM boss gets a $10M retirement. Actually it's probably worth it to get him the hell away from GM.

Richard Jefferson leaves bride at alter

Robert Redford got married recently. He said, "You know I'm 72 now, it feels like time to settle down." He will be shooting the sequel to marriage shortly entitled "Death."

Kim Cattrall and her boyfriend have broken up. She felt like they were growing apart and he realized that Kim is 20 years older than him... and wanted a prenup!

Just for fun:

Tomorrow: The Beatles. Any thoughts?

1 comment:

Abbi Crutchfield said...

"Richard Jefferson leaves bride at alter" That is an actual headline. Any punch to it? Or is knowing who Richard Jefferson IS part of the punchline? Is he another one of those rich people you were talking about?

About the mom passing away at 69, that seems a bit early to check out. The world's oldest new-mom becomes the world's youngest dead-mom.