Thursday, July 02, 2009

Health Care for all?

I decided to take a look at this whole health care reform thing for myself. So, what's my thoughts and conclusions? At this rate, I don't think we're getting much at all now or anytime soon. There's sooo much money and power behind the current system, and we all know how hard it is keeping the rich from getting richer.
So here's the plan: We will TMZ them! Track down everybody with power and control in the health insurance game--those making millions off the backs of the middle class. Take pictures, write articles, print rags showing how they hang out with bat boy and own the elephant man's bones. We'll print a list of them, and every time you see them in public rush over like it's 1965 and they're the Beatles. Trust me, 6 weeks of living like Elvis did and this insurance folks will BEG us for universal health care. If that doesn't work, throw all their tea in Boston Harbor!
Now your thoughts:
Crutch writes, "as far as health care goes...get rid of middle-men insurance companies...it's bc of them that prices continue to sky-rocket. they are only interested in profits."
OK, OK. I'll admit this is sounds much more reasonable than my plan. But I think you'll have to admit mine is much more fun. Make those turds suffer the way they've made decent Americans suffer!

Headlines:

McDonald's has come out with the new Angus burger. Finally, what we've been waiting for: A $4 burger and $20 diarrhea .

McDonald's released the new Premium $4 Angus burger. Yeah, nothing says "Premium" like "McDonald's" and "4 dollars." Coming soon: White Castle's opulent $1.50 shake.

$4 may seem like a lot for a McDonald's hamburger but don't forget, you're not paying for the food, you're really paying for the atmosphere.

And in honor of Michael, his favorite commercial ever:


Tomorrow: Obesity. Is fat a problem in the US or not? Leave your comment and I'll talk about it on Friday.

1 comment:

Abbi Crutchfield said...

We took a blood test, and we have the results in this envelope. Obesity in the US...you are NOT a problem.

Obesity: "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD ALL Y'ALL [bleep]! I-- (wheeze) I CAN'T BELIEVE (wheeze)..." (falls to the floor)

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